Aging

Today leaves me wondering how well I have planned for my future. We don't know so much. When will our bodies quit? Until they do, how well will they hold up? And if our bodies manage to keep on ticking, what about our minds? Have I planned for the many different possibilities? Of course, not. We can never plan for the unknown and, short of having an unlimited cash flow, there are bound to be shortfalls in our projections. For today, it's my parents that I worry about.

My family has longevity on its side. Mom and Dad are in their mid to upper 90's and I know they had absolutely no idea how much it would cost to manage their golden years. Mom has said that she is shocked that she is having to live in an assisted living facility. She just assumed that they would be independent until the end, and then it would be over. But the years take their toll. Dad is a prisoner in an electric wheelchair by day, and remains a prisoner in his bed for the night until the caregivers lift him up and get him dressed for another day. Mom uses a walker, but can still get around. It's her memory that has been failing her. They need 24/7 care. Were it not for the wonderful caregivers in their facility .... I can't imagine.

I took Mom to the doctor's today. Since it was a morning appointment, I called last night to remind them (aka: tell them) that she would have to be up and ready at 9 am. I asked if I should call again in the morning, but Dad said not to worry. He'd make sure she was dressed. I walked in at 8:45 am. Mom was in her jammies eating the breakfast that Dad had brought from the dining room. They were so very embarrassed, poor things. Mom really went way outside of her comfort zone to get dressed quickly. Dad kept apologizing. I wanted to cry for them both. 

The facility raised their rent and their levels of care before the beginning of the year to almost double what we had been paying. I couldn't argue with the increase in care, because it gets greater everyday. Luckily, although it was four months later, I was able to get the rent itself reduced by 25%. Still, we are on our way to MediCal, which means a skilled nursing facility in our area. The thought breaks my heart. 

My grandparents didn't know they would run short of money in their 90's. My parents didn't know they would need so much in their 90's, even though they had to support their parents in the end. I can't say I don't know. The data is in my face. I will not put this on my son's shoulders, yet I am less well-off than any of my predecessors were. It scares the beegeebies out of me. Because of a too-little-too late savings program, I've been able to squirrel away a bit of a hedge against the shock of old age. I will keep working and saving as long as I can. And then ..... I must have an answer before I get there. We all do.